Search Results for: Steven Seagal

Movie Reviews

A ham-fisted editing together of the first few episodes of Steven Seagal’s low-rent TV show, a formulaic cop opera imitating far better programs. You know, the ones with the wise, middle-aged team leader (usually an over-the-hill movie actor) guiding his/her band of young but talented undercover cops. There’s little cohesion (or logic, or intelligence), and ...

Jun 30, 2011 | No Comments | 1,501 views
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Movie Reviews

Jeez, Steven, if you insist on continuing to make (and write) movies, even direct-to-video ones, couldn’t you exert the tiniest effort to make a new one? Or use your own voice? This ultra-cheapie throwaway, again filmed in Romania but this time taking place there, is so generic-Seagal that I have no idea what it’s about, ...

Dec 9, 2010 | No Comments | 2,181 views
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Movie Reviews

Well, I’ve finally run out of rude things to say about Steven Seagal flicks. Actually, I don’t have anything at all to say about this latest waste of time because it’s so forgettable that I simply don’t remember anything. And I’ve still got 70 words to go! Steven does the squint thing, the soft-talking thing, ...

Sep 29, 2009 | One Comment | 9,625 views
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Movie Reviews

A Steven Seagal zombie movie. I’m not kidding. Sometimes I think Steven does stuff like this just to make my job more fun. Most of it is boring footage of survivors wandering through a deserted, post-apocalyptic hospital trying to stay out of the way of pointy-toothed flesh-eaters. This would be a crappy movie even without ...

Sep 29, 2009 | No Comments | 3,997 views
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