©2009 VILLAGE ROADSHOW FILMS (BVI) LIMITED

It was through Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s spellbinding stories about a cerebral, genius detective and his doctor sidekick that, as a boy, I discovered the joys of reading. So it was with some dismay that I watched the trailer for this film, which, with all the buggy chases and explosions, looked more like a buddy movie, a kind of Victorian Bad Boys. I always thought the stories were pretty exciting as they were. Sigh. Another literary classic fed into the Hollywood mill. That said, this blissfully revisionist version, if taken on its own terms, is highly entertaining, thanks mainly to a twitchy, athletic performance by Robert Downey Jr. in the title role and director Guy Ritchie’s skill in walking the cusp between tradition and showmanship. Jude Law fills the bill stylishly as Dr. Watson. The original story (why?) contains numerous references to Conan Doyle’s works but is on the silly side. Bottom line: enjoy the movie, but promise yourself to one day pick up (or download) an anthology of Sherlock Holmes stories. They’ll be around long after this movie is forgotten.

©2009 EUROPACORP

I’m not sure whether this deranged love story is a funny drama or a moving comedy. But it’s certainly unique, and it left me both amused and a bit stunned. Jim Carrey, in his most complex role to date, plays an audacious and very gay fraud artist who, on one of his frequent visits to prison, meets the love of his life in the title character (Ewan McGregor). That the story is kind of true makes it all the more astounding as, in the name of love, Carrey impersonates a lawyer and a CFO, formulates original bank and insurance fraud schemes, and of necessity becomes a very imaginative prison-break artist. Well done.

It’s possible to make a good romantic comedy. (500) Days of Summer, for example. But this flaccid, by-the-numbers retread may be heading back to film school to provide the basis for “How Not to Make a Rom-Com 101.” Not a cliché is left unturned, no contrivance untried, zero chemistry between actors who can do way better (a fluttering Hugh Grant and a shrill Sarah Jessica Parker), obvious foreshadowing, etc. A divorce-bound couple witnesses a murder in NYC, whereupon the Feds place them in a witness (witless?) protection program in Wyoming, where the slower lifestyle rekindles their love. Gag me.

©2008 CAMPFAME LIMITED

It’s 700 years from now, see, and Mankind is battling The Machines (yawn) and mostly winning. But now the fighting has activated some infernal ancient key or something that takes captured human soldiers and turns them into super-soldiers called “necromutants” with these scimitar-like appendages instead of hands. A stereotypical band of soldiers must find the key and shut it down, etc, etc. Steampunk, faux-religious, ultraviolent throwaway features tough guys (and gals), spouting hokey one-liners and several actors thinking about strangling their agents. What’s John Malkovich doing in this dreck?

© HanWayFilms

To mark the release of Tim Burton’s highly anticipated Alice in Wonderland, the Shin-Bungeiza theater in Ikebukuro is holding an all-night screening of fantasy films on March 20, from 10pm, including Terry Gilliam’s Tideland (2005; pictured) and Czech animator Jan Svankmajer’s Alice (1988). After over eight hours of viewing, you may feel as if you’ve emerged from a rabbit hole.

With Nikkatsu Corp.’s revival of its “Roman Porno” series of sexploitation film, Cinema Vera’s Noboru Tanaka retrospective is well timed. From March 20 to April 16, the Shibuya theater will be screening 26 films by the director who defined the genre in the ‘70s

Laputa in Asagaya continues its “Heroine” series with a retrospective of films starring Kaoru Yachigusa, running till April 24. Highlights include 1957’s Snow Country, based on the novel by Nobel Prize-winning writer Yasunari Kawabata, and 1955’s Madame Butterfly, based on the Puccini Opera and filmed in Italy.

©映画『時をかける少女』製作委員会2010

Toki wo Kakeru Shoujo is one of those stories that refuses to fade from Japanese popular culture. The original novel, by Yasutaka Tsutsui, was serialized in 1965-66 to huge popular acclaim. Since then, there have been two hit TV series, two live-action feature films (plus a made-for-TV one) and a highly regarded anime version. You’d think the story had been sucked dry, but no—it’s been significantly re-imagined here, while holding on to some essential points. Kazuko (Narumi Yasuda) is a scientist who has perfected a time travel drug. When she gets into a car accident, her daughter Akari (Riisa Naka) must travel back to the ’70s to summon someone who can help. But Akari ends up in the wrong time and is stuck with aspiring filmmaker Ryota (Akiyoshi Nakao). Despite being full of cheesy effects that almost seem like a parody of the genre, Toki wo Kakeru Shoujo has a refreshing charm and wholesomeness. English title: The Girl who Leapt Through Time. (124 min)

Cinemas 11 27 45 84 92 95

©2007 MODERN GIRL PRODUCTIONS All Rights Reserved

It is my usual practice to ignore torture-porn movies in the admittedly futile hope that low ticket sales will somehow discourage the continuation of the genre. But you really need to be warned about this repellent piece of crap. It’s based on the real-life torture, rape and killing of a 14-year-old Indiana girl by her twisted, sadistic aunt and some nasty suburban neighborhood kids in 1965. I bill myself as “The guy who goes to all the movies so you don’t have to,” but I walked out of this one just before the clitorectomy by blowtorch. If you like this movie, please start reading a different critic.

©2008 Hurt Locker, LLC. All Rights Reserved

I was beginning to think it wasn’t possible: a full-bore, suspense-filled action movie that doesn’t insult your intelligence, and remains grounded in reality. This instant classic from director Kathryn Bigelow (James Cameron’s ex) will be remembered as the definitive film about the war in Iraq. The technique is austere (no fast-edit nonsense or other tricks), the script is direct, and the performances are uniformly brilliant. It’s not judgmental; indeed, there’s no political agenda whatsoever. This is about the soldiers there and the job they have to do. And why they do it. In this case, that job is bomb disposal, with Jeremy Renner as the leader of a unit that defuses IED s. It’s a fascinating character study that takes you right inside this unconventional hero’s head. But be warned, this spellbinding movie will also get inside yours. It’s powerful stuff. Backing up Renner is Anthony Mackie, playing the unit’s realist to balance Renner’s risk-taker. If Avatar takes the Best Picture Oscar over this flawlessly crafted, original film, there is no justice in the world, or at least within the AMPAS.

©Disney Enterprises, Inc. All rights reserved

Disney returns to its roots with this old-style, hand-drawn animation and, amid so many empty, SFX-driven offerings these days, that’s kind of nice. As is the fact that it features Disney’s first black princess. It would have been even nicer, though, had it included an ounce of originality. Let’s go down the checklist: plucky heroine, hunky male lead, evil magical villain, fun animal sidekicks, even a fairy godmother. And don’t forget the forgettable Randy Newman songs every 15 minutes. Bottom line: while I applaud this reaffirmation of traditional animation, this is probably too bland for parents.

© 2010 映画『パレード』製作委員会

Well-known director Isao Yukisada (Go; Crying out Love, In the Center of the World) returns with a flick based on a book by award-winning novelist Shuichi Yoshida. Four twentysomethings live together in a 2LDK in Setagaya-ku and pursue their various interests: Kotomi (Shihori Kanjiya) is a failing actress who’s in love with a busy soap opera star; Mirai (Karina) has a good job as an illustrator but is an alcoholic; Ryosuke (Keisuke Koide) shows no passion for anything; and Naoki (Tatsuya Fujiwara), who works for a film distribution company, seems disturbed beneath his apparently normal exterior. Their world is shaken a little when rent boy Satoru (Kento Hayashi) joins the fray and, in an unrelated development, the group starts to suspect that the apartment next door is a brothel. Yet even these sexual intrigues don’t offer much drama. While Yukisada uses his camera well, framing shots beautifully, it all unfolds without the slightest bit of emotional intensity. (118 mins)

©2009 ALCON FILM FUND, LLC ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

This inspirational, rags-to-riches sports drama from writer-director John Lee Hancock (The Rookie, Remember the Titans) is the slightly sanitized story of Michael Oher (well played by newcomer Quinton Aaron), a huge, homeless high-school kid who, with the help and love of a dedicated society matron (Sandra Bullock) and her family, found a home, improved his grades, overcame his disadvantages and realized his dream of making it to the NFL. I know, the story’s not new. Also, the film is just a bit manipulative, and occasionally edges perilously close to sentimentality. And some think we’ve had enough white-people-helping-poor-black-people flicks. But on the other hand, it’s largely cliché-free, avoids mawkishness, and works for the most part by letting the emotions emerge gradually and on their own. Plus it’s entertaining. A good portion of the credit goes to the career-best performance by Bullock, who should maybe do more of these dramas and fewer romantic comedies. She absolutely nails the juicy role of the irrepressible Leigh Ann Touhy. A real hoot! Also Tim McGraw, Kathy Bates and Lily Collins. Adapted from Michael Lewis’s “The Blind Side: Evolution of a Game.” Japanese title: Shiawase no Kakurebasho.

This second in a series of city-centric cinematic pastiches that began in 2006 with Paris, Je t’aime (Rio de Janeiro is reportedly next) features ten sequences by ten directors (plus one more for “transitions”), each focusing on an aspect he or she considers definitive of the Big Apple. Each segment had to be shot in two days and run no more than eight minutes. As with such efforts, some of these vignettes are powerful and memorable, some are talky, some manage to be magical, and some just don’t work at all. Too many to describe in this space, but a pretty good night at the independent movies.