Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on March 2014

The spook-movie crowd would once have been eager to see what Euro-horror auteur Dario Argento could have done with Bram Stoker’s oft-filmed story. But they probably anticipated something several levels above this groan-worthy awfulness. The CG is screen-saver, the sets seedy, the dialogue eye-rolling, the pacing inept and the staging clunky. The “acting” is aggressively amateurish, at least until Rutger Hauer shows up as Van Helsing, and then he just looks bored. Lots of nudity and gore, though, so there’s that. And the Count turning himself into a giant praying mantis? Okay, that was new. Japanese title: Dario Argento no Dracula. (106 min)