Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on December 2012

The Italians nearly rioted when they saw what the Yanks had done with their revered, 25-year-old fantasy comic series. Non-Italians who pay perfectly good money to see this low-budget, flavorless gumbo may do the same. The title paranormal detective (Brandon Routh) is a New Orleans-based human mediator among monster clans. The film attempts, preposterously and with an astonishing lack of success, to blend warmed-over Buffy-level werewolves, zombies and vampires with a lame retro-noir vibe, and then voices it all over with an adolescent world-weary humor that’s so unfunny it’s sad.