Grand Piano

Grand Piano

A ludicrous cat-and-mouse game

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Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on March 2014

A celebrated young classical pianist (Elijah Wood) approaches the title instrument for his first concert in five years since publicly choking on a difficult piece. So I’m settling in for a nice drama about creative pressure when he opens the score to find a message in bright red, “Play one wrong note and you die!” punctuated with a rifle laser dot. There ensues an increasingly ludicrous cat-and-mouse game in which he must identify the hazily motivated villain (it’s John Cusack) and outsmart him, all while playing a piece that’s nearly unplayable without distraction. Hopelessly contrived. Japanese title: Grand Piano Nerawareta Kurokagi. (90 min)