Piranha 3DD
Spiritless sequel
By: Don Morton | Jul 19, 2012 | Issue: 955 | No Comments | 1,889 views


Title in Japan: Piranha Returns
Director: John Gulager
Starring: Danielle Panabaker, David Hasselhoff
Year: 2012
Country: USA
Running Time: 83 min

The super-piranhas from Alexandre Aja’s trashy 2010 Piranha now make their way into a water park. This spiritless sequel by John Gulager alternates between the beasties dining on dehumanized, dishabille spring-break Barbies (they apparently favor the naughty parts) and repetitive not-so-special effects. Then David Hasselhoff shows up for a little self-parody (which is only effective, David, when it’s not all you have left). This wet and witless waste is hilariously funny…if you’re a leering 12-year-old boy obsessed with fake titties (the “DD” stands for a bra size). Makes the Aja film seem like art.



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